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would he touch you

Under here lies a large amount of text in which I babble incoherently about two idiots doing stupid things.

Louis: Me and Liam have this thing.

A Liam/Louis inside jokes masterpost

  • Have you quite finished

I’ll start with this one because it captures everything about a Liam/Louis inside joke or ‘thing’. No one but the boys understood what it meant or where it came from, it continued for quite a while and the boys found it far funnier than it actually was.

@Ruthpayne0990: @Real_Liam_Payne haha ‘have u quite finished!’ me n tom are still laughin at this … #favequote #thankslouis :-)

Thanks to this tweet we know that the joke is mainly Liam and Louis’.

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These were the first times we saw the phrase, around August 2012. They’re so amused by it and by themselves that they dropped it into as many interviews as possible.

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In the first one Louis is asking that to Liam who had just fallen off the stage. It is actually quite funny in it’s own idiotic way, especially as they experiment with different replies. Plus, it’s a subtle inside joke that interviewers don’t notice. As opposed to…

  • Replay

Now this is really idiotic, so so terrible and so not funny. But Liam and Louis thought it was one of the funniest, cleverest things ever.

In the August 30 and September 5  livestreams the boys very seriously ‘introduce’ this new game of theirs. They explain the games ‘objective’ and do a demonstration. Louis even says, ‘in principle it doesn’t sound like a great game’ LOL! In the second livestream they’ve included a punishment, which is- a punch to the crotch- of course.

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or…

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They’re very earnest in wanting the game to catch on, or as the boys phrase it ‘it’s a grower’.

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These series of gifs show exactly how stupid, not funny and annoying this game is. The interviewer actually yells at them to stop. Of course, annoying people is probably what Louis and Liam like about this game. So bratty.

  • Recce

Speaking of bratty.

This one is the third in what I like to call the golden age of Liam/Louis mischief. These all happened around about the same time. I’ll let Liam explain this one.

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I’ll translate. This is a game where Liam and Louis get to go do something silly and fun, AND by escaping from their security they’re being naughty and massively difficult brats. I’ll translate further. Liam and Louis are totally sneaking off to go on dates. They seem unaware of this however. Example 1

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It was bad enough at first, but then we found out that they’d ditched a photoshoot and their security to go on this bike ride together. Absolute idiots. Here is a quote from an article written about it.

‘At one point, Louis and Liam give their beleaguered security the slip to commandeer a couple of Boris Bikes for an impromptu cycle along the towpath outside our North London studio. Although this is apparently small fry. Yesterday when they went missing from the studio they were eventually found on the roof.’

Liam: When we were at the Olympics Closing Ceremony we sneaked out before our performance and because we had passes on we could get everywhere and we blagged our way into so many things. Like, we went to the top of that big tower [The Orbit], we went in the Aquatics Centre when it was closed off and we went and watched a game of water polo for free. Our security were looking for us so we were sending them pictures of ourselves as we went.

Then came the big one. Louis was asked about going to space and this happened…

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I feel like this barely fits but I couldn’t leave it out

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  • You’ve changed

This was actually quite an old one that I noticed in several interviews. Firstly, there’s an early 2012 Daybreak interview- which is a Liam/Louis goldmine. Liam complained about getting sunburn from being on the beach for two days, and was said to have complained about non-reclining seats during a helicopter ride. Louis declared, ‘you’ve changed’, and shook his head in dismay.

The other one is during the Mario Kart interview (another one full of Liam/Louis moments). At 2.40 Liam says ‘you’ve changed’ and Louis starts laughing hysterically- complete with knee slapping, bending in half and hand covering his face. They share a moment where Liam cradles Louis between his legs and then strangles him. Idiots.

  • Fistbump

They think it’s hilarious to ruin each other’s fistbumps/highfives. I think Louis fistbumping Liam’s highfive is the first of many. And because they’re idiots who think idiotic things are funny, they keep doing it- they’re still doing it!

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Of course, it soon transformed into an excuse to hold hands. Idk

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I can’t say I haven’t enjoyed this ‘joke’ as a shipper.

Same goes for the next ones which are all from the tour of pain (ie Take me Home 2013).

  • Would he touch you

This started with Louis dragging his hand down Liam’s chest while he sings ‘would he touch…like I would’. They both obviously enjoyed the joke enough to continue doing it over and over. Liam practically turns around and asks for it now.

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The last two combines two jokes in one and we get a new fistbump. They sure do love to keep a joke going. I’ll never understand why they think it’s okay to touch each other so much.

  • Wrestling

The joke here is that I don’t know why they first decided to grab(grope) each other and roll around on the stage, but they sure are determined to keep doing it. Although Louis seriously injured his knee trying to pick Liam up, they started doing it again as soon as he was better.

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See Louis enticing Liam over.  image

See the inappropriate touching that accidentally happens. They’re having so much fun, always grinning like little boys the whole time.

  • Harder/mess upon you innocence

With them being ‘naughty teenage lads’, I don’t think it’s difficult to understand this joke. But they still giggle and whisper like no one else is in on it. Liam has a couple lyrics that he sings that kinda sound dirty. First of all there’s ‘made a mess upon your innocence’ during Gotta be you, which just- lol. Here is them giggling about it.

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The other lyric is ‘it makes this harder’ during Moments. And for this I have no words…

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  • door or mreep

This last one has Liam throwing an arm around Louis’ shoulder to sing his line ‘everytime I tell her that I want more, she closes the door’ during She’s not afraid. The joke started with Liam whispering to Louis instead of saying the first part of the line and then changed to Liam trying to get Louis to sing the last word. Of course, Louis being the brat he is, still hasn’t said it, he just makes a stupid noise. And Liam thinking Louis and their inside jokes are the best things ever, will probably continue to set it up.

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It’s not hard to understand why Liam and Louis have so many inside jokes. Not only have they been attached at the hip, but they seem to share similarities in humour. They seem to think that if they are annoying or disrupting someone then it’s hilarious. They definitely seem to think that if something’s funny or quirky, they should do it again and again til the end of time. Liam in particular, seems to hold onto jokes long passed when normal people would have let them go. Plus he think Louis is the most hilarious person in the world and he likes to impress him.

Liam: Louis. I’m kind of like Louis’ sounding board now. If he’s ever going to do anything random, he’ll ask me if he should do it. And I’m like: “Yeah, go on.” So it’s often my choice, or I’ll tell him to do things. So sometimes it’s me and people don’t even know.

Liam: I like Louis cause he’s really, really funny. Even if sometimes he’d made you a little bit mad or annoyed, in a second he’d make you laugh. That’s a good quality about the Tommo.

 Louis just seems to like Liam’s attention, someone to egg him on. Plus, I think he gets incredible joy out of Liam being mischievous- he’s put a lot of work into corrupting Liam and he’s enjoying his success.

Louis: If I’m going to be stupid and immature, a lot of time it’s with Liam..we’ve really clicked.

Louis: I admire that at the start Liam was really serious and now we’ve corrupted him into a mischievous little boy.

I’ll finish with a quote that is always relevant and brings me full circle.

Liam: I love him.



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Hi I'm Kat. I adore Liam Payne and Louis Tomlinson- and that's basically all you need to know!





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